Saturday, November 27, 2010

You light up my life!

How ya'all are? Elmer the frog here about to weave you some tales about lighting. Old Faithful has been sitting around for a long time. What's that got to do with lighting you ask? Well, keep yer britches on cause I am about to tell you. When you sit around doing nothing in New York weather,  things start to happen. And I don't mean good things. I am talking deterioration! Old Faithful's lights were put in sometime around 1959, at least that is what the dwp's say. And they are still there which made the man and the lady very happy! However, like I said before these two like finding things that are original but don't always like the way they look. In Old Faithful's case his lights still shine but not as brightly and not as pretty as they did back in the old days. So, once again out came the tools and at the lady dwp's orders the man dwp started removing the light fixtures. The lady says one thing she doesn't mess with is electricity. After the fridge incident I'll bet she doesn't mess with those anymore either but I want to stick to the topic at hand. They took those lights away and once again Old Faithful went into his paranoia state talking about meeting up with the junkyard crusher.
They just took them out to make them better I said.
I can see myself on the crusher conveyor now he said.
No fridge and now no lights he said.
I am useless he said.
But look at your kitchen I said.
What good is a kitchen with no fridge for food and no lights to cook by he said.
It's over, he said. I knew it all along, he said.
You'll see, I said, You gotta have faith.
Now I will admit, I get a little nervous myself when the dwp's start taking out the essentials but I believe in them. And yes those lights were a bit of an eyesore. Rusty and dull and dusty. Luckily this has been just one more opportunity for me to say..."I told you so" to Old Faithful. The gas lamp on the overhead storage compartment above the dinette was fully intact globe and all. Here is a before and after!

The ceiling light over the dining area has a nice fiberglass shade but the fixture was rusty and the shade dirty. Here is a before and after.

The two side lights were dull dirty and ugly. Here is a before and after.

The dwp's have not yet done the bathroom or the the back bedroom light but I am sure they will turn out just as nice. One more opportunity for me, Elmer Weaver, therapist to Old Faithful, to build self esteem in my old friend (and to say "I told you so" of course!)
Old Faithful is absolutely overjoyed!!! Speechless he was for a change! I keep telling him, have faith. Your time is not over and there are better days to come. And when the dwp's are through with you, there is going to be some very lucky somebody out there who will want to come and get you and spend all their time in you! Besides, I say, your better than a lily pad to me in the condition you are in. So once you are beautiful again why wouldn't somebody just fall in love with you! Old Faithful was quite for a moment and I thought he might finally be coming around to my point of view.
Well, I still don't have a fridge, he said.
Old Faithful, I said, you are one ornery son of a trailer. I promise you, you will get a fridge, but until then, like my buddy Billy Joel says, tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems, yeah yeah yeah I'm keeping the faith!

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